pretend and believe;

insecurity isn’t unique to you or me,

it’s what we all live with. 

i need you to understand, 

because if you don’t, 

all you’re doing, 

is being one of those we talk about – 

the destructive ones. 

in the world we’re in today, 

there’s always expectations, 

always standards; 

never is a negative overstatement, 

but it’s hard to be happy with yourself. 

and as hard as it may be, 

as destructive as it may be, 

the one thing you can do, 

is to put it behind you, 

and cast to the world different vibes – 

because the flawless public facade that you are capable to put up, 

can help your private despair, 

and help everyone around you, 

and help me. 

you cannot unsee the flaws you perceive yourself to have, 

but I never could see them in the first place; 

so when you do talk, 

I’m hearing a distorted image, 

but looking at a perfectly carved illustration; 

so when you’re talking, 

i cannot think straight, 

except for how someone who i wish to be, 

is not happy herself. 

that does not make me feel more comfortable, no; 

it makes me feel worse, 

because it fallaciously implies that i need to try harder, 

that i need to push myself harder, 

that im not even as good enough as i thought i was; 

or it’s creating separation, 

despite individual mental pressure that cannot be justified and is absolutely personal, 

there may instances of feeling that you know that i know, 

and divide is inevitable. 

compliments showered upon you, 

told as second hand stories to me,  

while acknowledging them in agreement, 

still crushing on the inside. 

real beauty’s on the inside, 

it really is; 

but with every passing day, 

it makes that fact hard to believe. 

we’re all in pain, 

i feel, 

but as much as im trying, 

i expect you and you and you 

to do the same, 

because one’s insecure sense of self is another’s root cause of the same. 

i want to help you more than ever, 

but to make sure i don’t explode, 

please allow to be selfish; 

i need to help myself, 

and so do you. 

so pretend. 

because for once, 

pretending may help you believe, 

and believing is the driving power that we desperately need today. 

~ dedicated to me and each and every one who isn’t happy with themselves because we’re all unknowingly, hypocritical drivers of this negative force that has led to the transformation of the disgusting society that holds this concrete ideology of always trying to grab on to this perfect version of ourselves and when/if we do get there, already causing the damage that’s too late to take back, leading to this perpetual cycle of self-demolition that cannot be undone.

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